Wednesday, January 15, 2014

How to fit in...

In life, at least in mine,  it's been all about fitting in. Fitting in the right group, fitting in at work, fitting in as a parent, fitting in a suitcase...

These days it seems impossible for me to fit in anywhere. We didn't fit in our NY apt. I don't fit in Miami, we most certainly won't be able to fit in out four months of living in the US in 4 suitcases. I guess in life you can't plan, you can't trust life is going to take you the path you envisioned yourself taking. It's been 4 months of instability, 4 months of second guessing, 4 moths of not having the kids at School, 4 months of not having a car and for that matter 4 months I lost my drivers license as it expired on my 34th birthday. I haven't been able to renew since there's not an address I live in. I don't have a zip code.

One thing I've learned besides I will become a Korean citizen soon... I mean after you take a drivers test in Korea you might as well become Korean right. I think I drive way better than anyone down there... you reckless drivers!!! : )

Sometimes you look at other peoples life and wonder and dream... I will tell you, for all of those who wonder. My life is but a dream. Yes, I have a wonderful family. I have an amazing husband who with all his faults is ALWAYS there for me, for us. But he has his very own, VERY his life outside us. He's busy, he works hard. He comes home tired.  I'm just there, sitting, waiting, wanting...

This was the year I realized my partner and I have different dreams. I can't speak for him, so I can't tell you his , but I can tell you mine.

These days, I want to settle. I want a home to grow old. I want a wall where I can hang our pictures. I want furniture that's a little better than having new ones on our next city. I want to be friends with other Mom's that have things in common with me. I want my kids to have sleep overs with friends he's known for more than a year and their parents know us well... although you can never know someone too well. That's a fact.
I dream with a house with a white picket fence. I have 2 dogs in this dream, and quite frankly I never thought I said this but yes, I dream with a mini van. OH... how convenient they are! Sean has a work rental, four suitcases remember. : )


  I wish you saw us, all Ray Ban/ All Sainted, skinny jeans and perfectly barbered hair stepping out of our automatic door black minivan, shaking up crumbs and overspilled popcorn from the very short drive that will require endless amounts of snacks and PP stops. We get all kinds of stares, specially at the Ihop, where we definitely don't fit in. I mean seriously, what family of four can finish a whole jar of OJ on one sit. the one I buy at the market lasts a week or more. I mean, how many PP stops will we have to make after that jar! No thank you, we share a cup.
Sorry Olivia, potty training won't come in anytime soon.
Yeah long story short, the car is pretty dirty inside. But anytime we step foot on it we're as happy as happy could be. It means we have a couple hours to be a family. To be all together. I mean the drive from Miami to Orlando is 4 1/2 half hours and we've been going up there pretty often. That mini van is our home. My time to have un-tired conversations. Marky's time to sing out loud to One Republic and Olivia's time to be counting stars while endlessly pressing her little mermaid necklace that sings and she plays the cover pretty well... ahh-ahh-ahh ahh-ahh-ahh..... Anyone sleepy yet... you will be with this long ass post.

So I've been grieving. For the past month I've been grieving the life I have to give up, cause circumstances just won't give me what I want if not at a price and that at a very expensive one.
I'd rather have nothing than a broken family. I'd rather look forward with a dream that might be, than sit and dwell and loose it all.
In the end I feel like we still have time to make these dreams come true. We're old, but we're not that old.... TIME is so short after you have kids, It seems quite impossible to have only 100 years to live.

That's what these past four months have thought me. I've learned to stop wanting. I've been wanting too much. When you want so much, you run the chance of loosing what you already have and what I have is pretty awesome. I mean think about it. I can't wait to see what cities we'll visit this year!

I realized I might have to continue with my education because at some point, I might have to stay homeschooling my kids. I believe stability is key for a healthy life, and it looks like this is the path I'm heading. Plus international Schools out there are Soooooo fkng expensive. We definitely can afford two kids in School. We got like 4 years still for Olivia to hit the expensive numbers. ughhhh....

I realized I have to adjust myself from wanting a regular joe/traditional lifestyle. Because we're anything but that. We are the definition of Modern family. With our mixed culture background and our never ending moving ways. We're open to change and that's a modern term. To be open. To be free. To be accepting, to be contempt, to be willing. I'm willing, so here we go again.

As I take a break from packing our four months in our four suitcases, I take a break and I feel freer that ever, writing this post. I'm writing to you with an open heart so you know where I stand. Cause it's been four months since the last post and a lot happened in four months. As for now I'm just looking forward to finding a zip code where I can ship our four boxes that refuse to fit in our luggage.  Helloooo.... no one told Santa to go crazy with Christmas gifts!

I can't wait to share with you the new experiences life will bring this new year. Thank you for always being there for me, for reading me and encouraging me to keep up the good work. What's better than being an inspiration to others. Now if you like my pictures, please don't save the one with my kids in it. These are mine, and it's not cool at all to find your kids pictures in another site, even if it's a cute mixed kids site. I'm water marking all my pics now. So If I find you... know I'm here... always.

Thank you for inspiring me! I look forward to making you part of my new dreams.!


Editing pictures right now, will post a picture only with many, many more pics...  soon. : )

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Before midnight...

Hi there...

I guess I've had "blogger's block" (if you can call that a thing). : )

Today I finally uploaded my camera pictures from recent trips we took in Korea. As I was trying to upload some pictures on my FB, I remembered why I never do it. All of my pictures come straight out of Instagram, because uploading on FB is a nightmare. It takes forever and suddenly freezes and when you finally get to upload them, they come out repeated like 20 times. Ughh.. never again. I'm about to delete all the albums I have there. I should only keep the Instagram one.

Besides the FB drama (and there's been plenty) It's been a tiring week & the longest I've had in a while. S. has been out of town for a week and the kids got sick at the worst possible time. I've been trying to keep everything clean and tossing out useless stuff... (I almost have a hoarding problem)... Not really, (but a little). A crafty Mom should never toss things she could use on future projects right?... Kkk

It makes me think... how difficult must it be for single Moms out there to handle it all by themselves. Or Military families, now that I know so many and they make most of my friends, (what would I do without you my ladies ; )  I feel their pain. When I hear their stories of when the husbands go out for long periods of time (up to years) and they have to keep it all together by themselves back home... It's hard! (If you don't have kids you won't identify).

I have no right to complain, but geeeshh...  Friday who?! Actually, I can't even tell Friday from Wednesday these days. Maybe it's the fact that I've been blessed with a wonderful and very supporting husband that gives it 200%. He's hands on and we are a team. These days without him, I've been hanging in there, but kinda walking a bit slanted... It's like missing a part of you. But.. fighting
*Dear S. if you read this, I want you to know; You are loved, you are missed and you are never to be taken for granted. ♥

I will tell you though, I will know when Monday gets here for sure!

Anyways, I've been packing up... YES, packing up! We are heading West for a while! So, before I leave, I wanted to write a post. I may even try to do a couple more if I find time at nights this week.  I haaaave to share some pictures with my Korean Culture loving ladies! We went on a road trip to the North East coast side of Korea and it was gorgeous up there! (promise to post on it, this week before we leave...pinky promise ; ).  We built sand castles, climbed up mountain tops and I, Tania (If you've read some of my first posts, you know I've made it clear, I was not Andrew Zimmern and I would NOT be eating funky looking things)...  ate this.... ⬇

Sundae, Korean Sundae, Ojingeo sundae. south Korea Korean food. Comida Coreana. Corea

Sundae, Korean Sundae, Ojingeo sundae. south Korea Korean food. Comida Coreana. Corea

Sundae, Korean Sundae, Ojingeo sundae. south Korea Korean food. Comida Coreana. Corea

Ohhhh... A lot changes in 3 years my friends... A lot indeed! These days I'm a seaweed loving, "ramyeon" expert, "Galbijjim" occasional and a fan of that ⬆. It's a special type of "Sundae", particular of this region. It's basically stuffed squid, it's called "Ojingeo sundae", and it's yummy!

I'll tell you all about it, but not today....

Today this post is about Olivia! I have to finish this post before midnight or it won't be her anymore!

My littlest turns 2! Crazy, before you've had kids you've heard it all... "time flies, enjoy them..."

You really can't identify with any of these remarks until you become a parent yourself.  It really seems like Yesterday when I saw her beautiful face for the first time! & now she's talking back at me... Ha!!!... She's a hand full alright!
But, Ohhhh, how I love her like crazy! She's a ball of energy and funniness who melts my heart in many ways each day....she knows it

mixed kids, Asian mixed kids. Expats in Korea. Boricuas en Corea, Extranjeros viviendo en Corea. 

Today... Ice cream for lunch, why not! 

We knew S. wasn't going to be able to be here on this day, so we celebrated with some friends a couple weeks ago in our casa. : )

Hello kitty birthday party. Hello Kitty DIY. Hello Kitty wall decals. Original Hello Kitty. Kitty 1976.Vintage hello Kitty. 

Hello kitty birthday party, Hello Kitty DIY. Hello Kitty wall decals. Original Hello Kitty. Kitty 1976.Vintage hello Kitty. Hello kitty party ideas. Red Hello kitty party. Primary colors party. Primary colors hello kitty. 

Ready to party! Even if it doesn't seem like it... : )

Hello kitty birthday party. Hello Kitty DIY. Hello Kitty wall decals. Original Hello Kitty. Kitty 1976.Vintage hello KittyHello kitty party ideas. Red Hello kitty party. Primary colors party. Primary colors hello kitty. .

Our friend Charlene made this beautiful cookies... If you're in Seoul and need a dose of cuteness, give her a call! Or just let me know I'll tell her... kkk

Hello kitty birthday party. Hello Kitty DIY. Hello Kitty wall decals. Original Hello Kitty. Kitty 1976.Vintage hello Kitty.

This picture couldn't describe her any better.... She likes tutus, animals, crowns, bows & Kitty.... but don't mess with her! ♥

That's it... 
Sorry, if there's many mistakes, I'm tired, I don't feel like checking again, I can't find my glasses (yes I'm old like that)
And I really wanted to finish this post before midnight... 

I'm late... it's 5 minutes past... : / 
Next year! 

Happy Birthday Livs... We love you! 


Sunday, July 21, 2013

Busan & the Dramas...

My dear Drama ladies.... First I'd like to thank you for your support and for reading me. : ) Even if I don't reply right away to your emails, I'd like you to know I always read them and I appreciate every single one. Thank you for sending the pictures too... so cute! : )

Dramas & Busan... 

When I saw my first one, I found it randomly while flipping channels on WIPR-channel 6 back home in PR. This was like, I'm not sure, maybe 4-5 years ago. It was a period drama, I can't tell you the name cause I really don't remember. It was dubbed in Spanish and I stayed fixated on it, I couldn't believe it...
_ What in the world? Is this a Korean Drama, in Spanish and in channel 6???.... 

From that day on, I went to channel 6 at 5:00pm everyday. This drama ended and a new one started right away. It was Coffee Prince.  I loooved it....

Since then I've watched countless dramas. I feel like they've helped me with my Korean. I've loved most and hated some. There's one I saw not long ago, "High kick trough the Roof"... This drama, was so funny, I was loving it until the very last episode. That last episode made the whole Drama be the worst in history of K-Dramas. I HATED IT! I mean.... what were the writers thinking!

After that one, my heart was seriously damaged and I took a break... no joke. Once it healed... > _ < Kkkkk...  I started Reply 1997 and I wasn't disappointed this time, this drama was super funny, cute & it had a good ending. But what I enjoyed most about this Drama, was the Busan accent! 

Just like we do with Spanish and English, Koreans have different accents or dialects, depending on their region.... who would've thought!

The other day I went to Gwangjang Market 
to buy thread and fabric (made some bedding for Livs' big girl room... cuteness!)↓ 

While sitting down having some kimbap and tteokbokki, I heard two girls talking and I just had to turn my head...

*Feeling like a local moment #002 : )
In my head...
_ Where are these girls from???... They're definitely from the South! Wait a minute, did I really just notice someones accent?!?!  

I knew there was an accent difference, but I didn't know it was big enough for me to notice. My husband's Korean is pretty good and to me it doesn't sound much different than other people I hear around. But, when he talks, for some reason people always ask him where's he from. All this time I thought maybe he had a Busan type of tone. He doesn't, Sean just has an (or had) Americanized Korean (somewhat like an American speaking Spanish).  

I secretly wish we lived in Busan, so if I do become fluent one day, I spoke like that.. I think the singing on it is really cute. I also happen to find Busan to be pretty cool too. Our trip there would have been one of those posts that got lost on these lazy months of no posting.
We went last winter, on New Years Eve to be exact. It was one of those trips that you don't plan but it ends up becoming one of the best. We gathered some truly amazing memories there. I would like to go back maybe before the weather gets too cold... the winds down there were crazy! 

I know my Drama ladies love it when I write and post pictures about Korea, so here's some pictures of our trip there. I think I put up some on my FB page a while ago, but I'm trying to catch up. : ) 

Beautiful rocky beach called 태종대, Taejongdae in Busan. 

I think on how hot & humid it is right now and I kinda miss the cold....  : ) 

Fresh sashimi by the water... 

Then we stopped by  해운대 해수욕장 Haeundae Beach... 

These 3.... <3

We tried a self-timer... didn't work. Marky didn't even make it into the pic. : ) 

We drove from Seoul to Busan. I think it took about 8-9 hours. Since we don't own a car here, when we rent one, the kids love it & they behave like angels. Going to Busan was an improvised kinda in the moment trip, so we just stayed a day and didn't really get to do much. We had spent two days on another town called  경주 Gyeongju . Which was beautiful too, but that's a whole other post. : )

I'm actually glad I did this belated post on Busan, because I got to see the pictures again and go back to a special place. Not only of this trip, but of back home. I don't know if it's the line of Buildings next to the Ocean, but looking at these pictures I suddenly feel homesick. It reminds me a bit of Condado and Ocean Park. Maybe this is why I liked Busan so much... it felt a bit like home. 

T.  : ) 

PS... Any new Dramas you would like to recommend???...  ; ) 

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Another 4 months...

WARNING...  This is a very long post! : ) 

On my last post I hoping It wouldn't take me 4 months to write a new one.  Here I am, 4 moths later...

When I first started this blog I was a stay at home Mom of two (still am FYI).  I was new in a very big foreign City. I had no friends. My oldest kid was home and the second was a newborn. I had spent a couple of months by myself (basically) I hadn't spoken a word in English to a single soul with the exception of my husband and my then 2 year old child. I had a lot of time, but not a lot of people to talk to.
I was having the craziest experiences with people that didn't understand me, nor I them. I was facing challenges on a daily basis, even with simple things, like going to the Supermarket. I flooded my FB page with pictures but I still wanted to tell the story behind the pictures, but I didn't want to bother my FB friends so much. I started this blog and I had so much fun and so much to tell... 

A lot has changed since then. My older kid goes to School & my youngest is a very active toddler (she's a handful alright). We do play dates, birthday parties and Soccer (yes I'm officially a Soccer Mom, minus the minivan). I can communicate with the locals and am a pro on public transportation and yes I now use buses... it only took two years to master the bus system. I now have friends and don't feel like a stranger anymore.
Quite frankly I've only felt that alien feeling whenever I'm on FB. Like, I seriously don't know anything that's going on back in the US, but at the same time I know so much.
 I know how much people hate Lebron James or who's the best dressed at the Oscars or whenever The Voice or The Game of Thrones is on.
 I feel more like a stranger on my FB these days, than whenever I go to Emart and ask the produce lady if the avocados are sold by weight or as individuals, (all in Korean btw). I would love to record one of these sessions, so you make fun of my hilarious Korean. The other day the ajumma from whom I get thread from told me, "Wow good job with the Korean"... (AND I understood her saying this). Not a prouder moment!  : ) 

At the end of the day, this is my home & I like it here. Truth is I'm so used to living here, that I don't feel as if my life was any more adventurous or different than anyone else. Maybe this Is why I haven't felt like writing any posts. I mean I've had quite a fun couple of months, but I still get to do my regular chores as anyone else does... laundry, cook, clean, change pooped diapers & read daily bedtime stories. I clean up the house and start all over again the next day. 

Sean and I have this thing that we say, "you know you're old when...". Well, we've been saying this quite often these days. "You know you're old when your eyelids won't respond after 9:00pm. anymore." I mean, seriously, who's gonna stay up to wait for the kids when they go out when they're teenagers"... at this rate, we're in big, deep trouble, to put it kindly
How about..."You know you're old when you have the best date with your husband at the chiropractor". All I can say is, my neck and back cracked like 20 times each, on places I didn't even know existed. I'd do a date there again anytime! 

Anyways... the point is, with this and that and spasmed shoulders, heavy eyelids, dirty laundry and everyday life, there's very little free time to sit down and write a decent post.  
I haven't even stopped by to check here since April, yet it's only the first day in July and I have like 1000 visits. I don't know if this qualifies as a lot in blogging world, but to me it is. Thank you!

I guess I'll have to tell you all about my avocados, chiropractors and how much I hate doing laundry kind of stories. hehehe... 

But before the boring, I'll tell you about the fun. 
Sean started a couple of months in a new job here, but before he started we took a short Holiday to Japan. I looooooved it! We had so, so, so much fun there. If you follow me on Instagram you are very up to date on my pictures and know this was like two months ago. If you don't, then you should : ) I'm there all the time (at all times) "@koyorrican". I mean, it's easy, fun and you kinda in some weird way, get to know people from all over the world. I get so inspired and amazed at how many talented and incredibly creative people are out there. I love Instagram! Now, if you don't want to see a gazillion pictures of my littles, then don't bother. It's all I do, I'm a mamarazzi... I mean like everyday... trust me, I've even had real life friends unfollow me. I guess I'm the annoying proud Mom. Well actually, no, I don't guess, I AM the proudest of Moms! 

 A bit of our trip to Japan...

At the Osaka Castle...

In Kyoto...⬇

Livs on a walk around the Geisha District in Kyoto...


At the Osaka Aquarium...

Free the Dolphins! 
A week after we returned, I saw this video about how cruel they are to Dolphins in parts of Japan...
Too sad...

We all had THE best time there. The people were super helpful and friendly, the food was incredible & the shops where super funky, just like I like them. I came back with some awesome Japanese cotton fabric...Yeayy... and I found a vintage panda print I wanted....double yeayyy..

I came back so inspired, I wanted to try making homemade tonkotsu ramen... and I kinda' got it right. But it's tons of work, too many hours of cooking and it's very fatty, so the ramen craze quickly wore off. lol... lemonade cleansing! > <

*All these pictures are the ones I had on my phone. I took some with my camera, but I seem to have misplaced the usb cable, so I haven't been able to upload them. : ( 

Tania : )